There is always hope
by Lorelie23
Summary: It's right after Trenzalore. Clara is safe and back in the TARDIS, sleeping. And the Doctor is left to his thoughts. Which happen to consist mostly of his now dead wife... (This story is T but I might change it to M after I write chapter two which might have smut in it.. I haven't decided yet.)
1. And my heart will die with you

**There is _always _hope**

**This is just a little two chapter story that I thought of and quickly wrote down while doing school. Hope you like it! (WARNING there are spoilers for the finale 'Name of The Doctor' if you haven't watched that yet) DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, the BBC owns everything, I'm just borrowing their gorgeous characters, blah, blah, blah. Chapter one.**

"So… Trenzalore. Pros and cons for today. Let's do pros first. Number One. I didn't get killed by the Great Intelligence, courtesy of Clara. Number Two, Clara didn't get killed saving me from getting killed. She's safe in the TARDIS again, sleeping. Much needed rest, I'd say. Number Three, Vastra, Strax and Jenny are still alive. Number Four… Well, I got to three. That's pretty good for me. Time for the cons. I hate cons. Why do cons even exist? Everything should just be pros."The Doctor sighed, rambling pointlessly to himself as he fiddled with things under the console that really, really didn't need fiddling.

He was desperately trying to avoid thinking of 'the cons', knowing the only thing that he'll be able to think of if he does, is the one thing that will completely break him.

He had been forced to say goodbye to the one person in the universe he loved more than anything.

He'd lost her.

He'd lost his wife. His River was gone.

She had been the only thing keeping him going, the only reason he had the will to tie his bow tie everyday and force a smile onto his face. And now she was just… Gone.

Obviously he'd known she'd gone to the Library.

The one place he'd been dreading going to more than Trenzalore. He'd known she'd gone, and that's what forced him onto that cloud.

River had been helping him when Amy and Rory died. She was holding him together, and him her. They were struggling through it together. But then she'd had to go… She'd had to go to the Library.

And that's what had broken him.

That's why he had stumbled to Vastra, Jenny, and Strax's door. Tears blurring his vision and streaming continuously down his cheeks. The only words he'd been able to choke out when Vastra had asked what was wrong was, 'She's gone. My River's gone…'

Then Clara came. She was a wonderful distraction. The impossible girl, the only mystery left worth solving. She helped him run away from that goodbye. She had helped him run as far, and fast away from the pain of saying goodbye to his beloved wife forever.

Forever. Forever without his River to hold. To talk to, to love, to touch, to just _be _with.. The thought was killing him. Making him feel like someone was shoving their fist in his chest and just ripping everything out.

But now he'd done it. It was over. He'd said goodbye. No more spoilers, no more of that wonderful voice purring 'hello sweetie' in his ear. No more of that wild hair, no more running hand in hand, no more running into her at the strangest of times. No more playful bickering, no more flirting, no more teasing her about being an archaeologist, no more kisses, no more of her gun that he really shouldn't have loved as much as he did. But it was River's so of course he loved it. No more handcuffs, no more catching her when she decides to jump off a building, his heart racing because he's so scared he won't make it in time. _No more River. _

She had finally slipped through his fingers like the substance she was named after. Leaving a path of destruction in her wake. He had handed her his hearts and she had held them in her capable hands, caring for him, and loving him like no one else ever had.

He'd never let anyone else. Not the way he'd let her

He hadn't wanted to fall in love with her, because he thought she was an all too breakable human, and he couldn't fall in love with a human again.

But she was just so damn wonderful, how could he not fall for her?

He'd known the second he'd found that home box with 'hello sweetie' carved into it in his own language that he was already half gone.

He finally let himself fall very fast, and very hard when he'd figured out _she was like him. _She wasn't the short lived, breakable human he'd thought she was.

She was human +. She was almost half Time Lord! He'd known that meant they could spend _centuries _together. Years, and years to love each other.

And they had.

She had given him the best years of his life.

But it wasn't long enough, not even close to long enough. Only forever would be long enough for him. And even then he wasn't sure if that was enough.

Certainly not long enough for him to let her go. He would never be ready for that.

He couldn't live like this. She couldn't just show him what it's like to live with her, and love her, and then just leave him all alone. With a gaping hole in his hearts that nothing could ever fill again. It was such a big hole it felt more like she had just completely cut out his chest. Leaving him with nothing but this horrible, empty, aching feeling.

It was almost worse than it had been after the Time War.

X

The Doctor shook his head, trying to clear his head of all the thoughts he'd finally let in, attempting to wipe away the tears that were still flowing from his eyes and down his cheeks.

He'd broken the dam that had been keeping all those the thoughts at bay, and now they were flooding his mind. Unable to be repressed. He stood up abruptly from the floor, (when had he gotten there?) his hands clenched around his screwdriver. He hurled it as hard as he could at the nearest wall, making it break into pieces and fall to the ground. He was angry. At himself, for not being able to save her. At the universe for taking him from her. At _Kovarian_ because her plan had _worked. _Not in the way she'd planned, but it had happened. In the most cruel way possible. Breaking his hearts. River was unintentionally killing the Doctor simply by dying, ironically in an attempt to save his pathetic life.

"What am I supposed to do!?" He yelled desperately, to no one in particular. He received no answer save the comforting hum of his TARDIS.

His shoulders slumped, and he slid to the floor again, leaning against the wall, his head in his hand as sobs shook his whole body. The only noise in the console room, was the sound of him occasionally yelling his wife's name in despair.

He was the picture of defeat. A broken hearted man who had had everything he'd loved ripped heartlessly away from him. A man who had been beaten down and broken by the universe so many times, but kept getting up anyway. Because he believed somehow, someway there is always hope. He saw no hope this time. The universe had finally broken him. Taking away his wife, the woman he loved more than life itself.

She was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"Hello Sweetie..." Her voice was a whisper, choked with tears.

His head shot up, and there she was. His River.

**So yeah... I hope you liked it! Comments are very much appreciated, constructive criticism or otherwise. Chapter two will be up either some time tonight or within the next few days. Whenever I decide I want to write it. Thanks for reading, and I hope you stick around for the next chapter! (It might possibly have smut in it, just a warning. I haven't decided if I want to bother writing that or not. Probably not though.) **


	2. Hope springs eternal wherever you are

Chapter Two: Hope springs eternal wherever you are.

**So I decided on no smut, so don't get your hopes up while reading that down there. It's just too much work to write. XD Anyways, I hope you like pt 2. Comments, constructive criticism or otherwise are greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! :D I hope you like it. **

"Hello Sweetie.." The words were a quite, joyful whisper, choked with tears.

It made his hearts leap, his head shooting up. And there she was.

His River.

Dressed in the same clothes she had on Trenzalore. Her glorious hair was framing her beautiful face like a halo, the glow of the time rotor behind her making her look even more angelic.

"River?.." He whispered, tears still spilling from his eyes as hope filled his chest.

'Was she really here?' He wondered, wanting desperately for it to be true. Then he suddenly remembered Trenzalore, how they had said goodbye, and how she had faded right in front of him, bringing his whole world crashing down in on him.

The hope that he had naively allowed himself to feel, disintegrated as his hearts plummeted so far they were probably on another planet.

She was a hallucination, just his hearts refusing to let go of what he lost. Nothing more.

'If I touch her she'll disappear..' He thought hopelessly, as the supposed hallucination knelt down beside him. She was wearing the smile she always wore when she thought he was being a wonderful idiot.

He reached out to touch her, but withdrew his hand quickly. He didn't want her to disappear. Even if she was only a hallucination.

Apparently he'd said that out loud, because she made a noise somewhere in between a laugh and a sob. Reaching out to cup his cheek with her hand, she whispered, "I'm here sweetie. It's me."

He stared out her with an open mouth, tears rolling down his cheeks, leaning automatically into her gentle touch.

Then he was pulled back to reality, shaking his head and shrinking away from his hand like she'd just burned him. He leapt up from the ground backing away from her, fear, loss and such utter _pain _in his eyes and etched onto his face, it almost hurt her to look at him. She stood up as well, approaching him slowly like he was a scared, caged animal. He was backed against the console now, his hand automatically reaching for his sonic, but _oh yeah. _He'd broken that in a fit of raging grief.

He finally remembered he had a voice, speaking in a shaky, angry voice that was full of pain he pointed an accusing finger at the figure pretending to be his wife. "No. No. You can't be her. My wife is_ dead_. She died a long time ago, and I had to kiss her goodbye for the last time. So don't you _dare. _Come in here and pretend to be her. I don't know _what _or _who _you are but you're not her. She's dead… My wife is dead…" His voice broke multiple times as he spoke, tears refusing to stop falling as he stared at the imposter in front of him. Any more resistance from him gone, all he felt like doing was collapsing on the floor and dying.

"Sweetie, it's me. I'm here." River whispered, taking his trembling hand in hers, bringing it to her lips and pressing a kiss to each of his knuckles. "I grew tired of waiting for you to save me so I did it myself. With a bit of help from your TARDIS." She gave him a watery smile and continued to speak as he gaped at her. She was winning him over. Trusting her again. "I'm not an echo, or a hallucination, or a trap… It's just me. Flesh and blood again."

"River?." He asked disbelievingly, a small sob escaping his lips as he looked from her hand holding his and back to her lovely face with those beautiful green eyes filled with tears, and the most brilliant smile he'd ever seen grace her lips.

"It's me… I'm here…" She whispered.

"Oh, River. My River." A wonderful smile spread across his lips, his chest filling with so much happiness, hope and love it felt like he was going to burst. He pulled her into his hugging her so tightly it lifted her off her feet. He spun her around, and buried his face in her hair breathing in the smell he never thought he would smell again. The smell of home. She is his home. He was sure she probably couldn't breathe properly, but she didn't seem to care. Clinging to him as tightly as he was to her and laughing breathlessly.

He set her back down on her feet lifting his head and drinking in the sight of her, she was the most gorgeous thing he'd ever seen, and his cheeks were starting to ache from smiling so widely. He bent his head and devoured her mouth with his. A small whimper escaped both of their lips at finally being able to kiss each other again, without the bitter taste of goodbye lingering in their mouths.

He lapped at the inside of her mouth with all the vigor of a starving man at a feast. Their tears slipping from their closed eyelids, mingling and making the kiss taste salty. But these tears weren't sad, bitter tears. They held happiness, love, and hope for the future. Hope for a family and so many other things they could have now.

They were finally forced to break apart for air, he pressed his forehead to hers, each of them smiling breathlessly. He whispered to her, brushing stubborn curls from her face, "I love you, my River. So very, very much."

"I love you too, my Doctor." She smiled, wiping away his tears. And him wiping hers in turn.

He picked her up bridal style, carrying her to their room and planning to show her exactly how very much he loved her.

All night long.

He had lot of 'I love you' s to make up for after all.

He could wait until the next day to tell Clara his gorgeous wife would be traveling with them, and have River tell him exactly how she saved herself.

For now, all he wanted to do was love his wife. Because now she was here, he was completed. Now she was here, everything was right. Now that she was here, he was home.

Home. He liked that.

She is his home.

And he was determined to have his happily ever after with her.

And everyone knows, if the Doctor and River want something, they're going to get it.

**So yeah…. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much. Thanks for reading, I would love a comment. ;D **


	3. The morning after (Clara's POV)

**So this one's actually really short, (I'm still sobbing over Matt leaving and couldn't find it in my heart to continue till today. Sorry) and I tried to do Clara, so sorry if it sucks. Thanks for reading, and I hope you like it! Also thanks to anyone and everyone who commented, liked, or even just read this sucky story. You're all lovely, and nice, and wonderful. Virtual cookies and hugs for you all. *huggles***

Clara couldn't get to sleep.

She'd been lying awake for three hours since the Doctor had sent her off to bed. Just staring at the ceiling and worrying about him.

He'd looked so sad, and utterly broken once they'd left Trenzalore. He'd tried to hide it behind a smile, yes, but he failed so miserably.

Clara wasn't quite sure why he'd been so sad. They'd beat the Great Intelligence, Clara herself was still alive, Vastra, Jenny, and Strax were alive and back at their home. River, his wife, or whoever she'd been, he didn't even know she was there as far as she knew.

But she'd obviously meant a lot to him. Judging from the fact that she knew his name, and just the way he said her name was an obvious give away.

''I'll figure out what's wrong with him in the morning. If he doesn't want to tell me, I'll force the answer out of him."

When the TARDIS hummed warningly at her, she amended by saying, "In a gentle way that won't hurt his feelings of course."

She sighed. She had her work cut out for her. She mumbled a good night to the TARDIs then, turned over on her side and fell asleep.

XXXX

Clara woke up to the horrible, blaring sound of her alarm clock.

The one she'd insisted on keeping so she wouldn't completely destroy her sleep schedule. She flung her hand out onto the bedside table and hitting the snooze button. Resolving to sleep five more minutes before having to face a devastated Doctor who's pretending to be happy. And honestly just failing miserably at it.

She curled up under the covers, but sleep wouldn't find her again. So she groaned and flung the covers off of herself, standing up and stepping into her warm, fuzzy slippers.

She would have her morning tea to wake herself up, and _then _face a devastated Doctor.

Clara, walked sleepily to the kitchen, about to open the door, she heard a breathy giggle, clearly a woman. Followed by a deeper voice, saying who knows what, that sounded remarkably like the Doctor.

Confused and a bit shocked, Clara threw the door open.

"Doctor, what exactly are you doing in… Here…" Her stern voice slowly faded to a small whisper at the completely unexpected scene in front of her. The Doctor, wearing nothing but boxers, had River, his apparent dead wife, who was wearing nothing but one of his button up shirts, pinned against one of the kitchen counters. They both jumped when she threw the door open, springing apart like two children caught with their hands in a cookie jar.

"Oh… Clara… You're up. You remember River?" The Doctor was the first one to break the shocked, and awkward silence that had fallen around them.

He gestured slightly awkwardly at River, as he grabbed her hand, lacing their fingers together.

River waved at her, smiling unrepentantly, clearly amused by their current circumstances.

Clara's mouth opened and closed her mouth a few times, but no words came out, completely and utterly baffled by the couple currently standing in front of her. Finally she waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm too tired for this right now. I need my tea." She finally said, grabbing the tea kettle she assumed they'd put on for themselves before they started _doing things._ She shuddered at the thought, pouring her tea and fixing it the way she liked it.

"Right. Well, enough of the awkward silences, we need to go get dressed and we'll explain everything when we get back. Okay Clara?" The Doctor said in a rush, ushering River out of the room before she could make some cheeky remark.

"Yeah, yeah." Clara waved them off, her head still spinning from this new, strange information. He said she was _dead. _But she wasn't, because she was here doing things dead people _definitely _can't do with their husbands. But she _was. _She had been some sort of ghost on Trenzalore.

'They have a lot of explaining to do.' Clara thought to herself as she sipped at her tea. 'But they'll probably be awhile though. Finishing what they started. _In the kitchen. _She needed to have a serious talk with them about boundaries.' She shuddered again at the thought . This was going to be a _long _day.

**To be continued.**

**I hope you liked it, and didn't think my Clara was to horrible. Also my River, and my Doctor. I contemplated stopping this story after I figured out Matt was leaving (Which I am utterly devastated about! WHY MATT, WHY) But I figured writing the rest of this would help ease the horrific pain of my Doctor leaving, and destroying my OTP. (Doctor/River obvs) So yeah… Hope you liked it, and comments are always lovely! (Sorry it was so short) The morning after the Doctor and River's POV coming in a few days. Or whenever inspiration hits me. (like when I'm supposed to be doing school)**


	4. The morning after (Doc and River's POV)

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of these characters. (unfortunately) I'm just borrowing them to play with for awhile.**

**So here's the next chapter… I'm not too proud of it, but I hope you guys like it anyway! Sorry it took me so long to post it, I was at Holiday World, and visiting my Grandma. Thanks for everyone who comments, and favorites, and to all the people who have taken a little bit of time out of their day to read this measly story. Thanks!**

The Doctor woke up the next morning with tears in his eyes, thinking the night before had all been some wonderful dream his subconscious had cooked up to help him deal with the loss of his wife. And the destruction she'd left in her wake.

But then he felt her warm, naked body pressed to his, and noticed that his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. Just like they had been in his supposed dream. His brain finally also registered the curls tickling his face, and her slow, steady breathing.

A wide grin bloomed on his face, when his still sleep ridden mind finally realized that the night before had been _real. _

His River had come back to him, just like she'd promised she always would. She'd somehow saved herself from that awful place, and come back to him.

They'd finally be together forever. Just like they'd always wanted to. They could finally have a family, and he could love her without her impending death looming over him like a rain cloud threatening to burst any second. No more mixed up time lines either.

Just him, her, and the TARDIS. (And of course Clara, but he seemed to have momentarily forgotten her, in his sudden realization that his wonderful wife is miraculously back from the dead. That it was all real.)

"What are you so happy about?" Was the quiet question that tore him from his thoughts, and he smiled down at her. Deciding that River smiling at him first thing in the morning is definitely what he wants to see every single morning for the rest of his very long life.

Her voice was tired with sleep, and a small smile graced her lips, that signified she knew exactly what he was smiling about.

"I'm smiling because the most wonderful woman in the universe is alive, naked, and smiling at me, first thing in the morning." He said quietly, nuzzling his nose against hers, his voice taking on that gruff tone it always did in the morning when he just woke up.

The very same tone that always aroused her far more than it probably should, every time they woke up together.

She kissed him gently, at that. Neither of them were able to wipe the smiles off their faces.

"And that's the way it'll be every morning from now on. Give or take the naked part. Since we're planning on having children, we might need to break that habit once we have them." She grinned, trying to pretend the light circles he was tracing on her lower back weren't affecting her.

"Yes, but for now I think we're perfectly safe sleeping naked. We're the only ones who know where this room is, anyway." He smiled, and kissed her again, still subconsciously writing symbols on her back.

Her heart melted, and she felt herself fall even more in love with this ridiculous man, (if that's even possible), when she realized that the seemingly random circles he was tracing on her lower back were actually Gallifreyan symbols. They were the symbols for 'love', 'hope', 'family', 'home', and 'forever'.

The aforementioned realization was the spark that lit a flame inside her. She turned the gentle, sweet, kiss into something much more desperate, and passionate.

To which he responded enthusiastically, rolling them over and pressing her into the mattress.

Once again, showing her just how happy he was that he was alive, and just how very, very much he loved her.

XXXX

About an hour after that, they finally forced themselves to get out of bed, much to the Doctor's dismay.

"I'd much rather just stay in bed with you all day." He mumbled, his arms wrapped around her waist from behind, peppering tiny kisses down her neck.

"As would I sweetie, but I do need proper sustenance. You haven't fed me since I came back from the dead." She smirked, subconsciously tilting her head to the side to give him better access. Pretending it wasn't him kissing her, that made her fingers fumble while she finished buttoning up one of his shirts that she'd temporarily stolen.

He sighed gustily, and let go of her waist, kissing her cheek one last time before he moved to pull on his boxers.

"Fine, I shall cook you a spectacular breakfast, as a welcome back, and an 'I love you'." He smiled sweetly at her.

"Thank you sweetie. You're the best husband anyone could ask for." She smirked, holding her hand out to him, which he gladly took, lacing their fingers together and they both walked to the kitchen together. Light heartedly teasing and flirting with each other the whole way.

Once they were there, she hopped up onto the kitchen counter. Sitting and admiring him as he put a tea kettle on, and stirred together a bowl of scrambled eggs.

He felt her eyes on him, so he looked up. Still unable to wipe the goofy grin off his face.

"You know… It's rude to stare." He grinned, putting down the bowl, and standing in front of her, his hands resting comfortably on her waist. She slid down off the counter, her arms wrapping around his neck as she smiled up at him.

"Never stopped you ogling me, now did it? Not that I ever minded" She smirked, and he just smiled smugly.

"Well with an arse like that, you've got to expect some ogling from your husband." His hands slid from her waist to her bum, squeezing gently.

She gasped slightly, and giggled breathlessly. "Naughty boy, Doctor." She breathed.

"You love it." He growled, about to kiss her when the door swung open. Clara's scandalized voice floating in and capturing them by surprise and causing them to spring apart.

"Doctor! What do you think you're doing in… Here…" The scandalized anger on her face melted away into simply complete confusion.

The room fell silent for a few minutes, as Clara tried to process what she was seeing. The Doctor finally broke the awkward silence by saying, "Oh… Clara… You're up." He would never admit that he'd there was another guest on the TARDIs with he and River. "You remember my wife, River?" He said, gesturing slightly awkwardly at her, and grabbed her hand. River was biting her lip, trying not to burst out laughing. Very amused by their current circumstances. She smiled and waved unrepentantly. "Hello again."

They watched as Clara opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to figure out what to say, and trying to wrap her brain around the fact that his wife had come back from the dead. Finally she gave up, waving a hand dismissively, "I'm too tired for this right now, I need my tea." She mumbled tiredly. Grabbing the kettle he'd put on for the two of them and pouring herself a cup and fixing it the way she liked it.

"Right." The Doctor said suddenly. "Well, enough of the awkward silences, we need to go get dressed, and we'll explain everything when we get back. Okay Clara?" He said, ushering River out of the room before she could make some cheeky comment.

He vaguely heard Clara say something else, as he shut the door behind them, barely walking ten feet away before both of them burst out laughing.

**Ta da? I hope you guys liked it! And as usual, comments are greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism or otherwise. I hope they all weren't to OOC, and it wasn't too much of a boring chapter. I'll post again soon ish. Please keep on reading! :D**


End file.
